Emmett and Jasper did what?
by Lilah Blackthorn
Summary: When the Cullen's are bored, Jasper and Emmett come out to play. Warning: Harry Potter book 6 spoilers! and some cursing.


**Jasper's POV [one shot]**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.**

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

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I was outside with Edward and Bella, but no they were always so damn horny I couldn't stand it any longer, Every body else was gone, so I decided to find out what Emmett was doing. When I walked into the living room he was sitting upside down on the couch with his feet dangling over the back and his arms behind his head watching a football game.

I stopped and stared "Em, why are you watching TV upside down for?" I was confused but it was typical Emmett.

"Cause I'm bored as hell." He said as he flipped off of the couch and stood up.

"Ooooh ooooh, let's do something fun!" he said jumping up and down.

"Like what?" I asked.

Emmett flopped back down on the couch, "I don't know."

I went to sit down next to him on the couch thinking of what we could do.

All of a sudden Emmett grabbed my hand, "Oh yeah, this is my favorite commercial." He started singing along to it.

"My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse's getting laughed at f-r-e-e that spells free credit report dot com baby." he yelled "Yes!! That's the twenty-seventh time I've seen it today, I've gotta mark that down!" he exclaimed.

"Emmett you are a dumb ass, and you watch too much TV." I said calmly.

"Well what else am I going to do when I have eternity and Rosie isn't here to 'play' with me." he said smirking.

"Oh god not you too! Can't I just get away from you horn dogs for an hour at least." I whined.

"At least you're not Edward." Emmett said with a evil grin.

I could only guess to what he was thinking because I'll I could feel rolling off of him was lust.

Just then I heard Edward groan loudly "Emmett, come on." from the third floor.

"Sorry, sort of." Emmet said laughing.

"POTSTICKERS!!!!" I yelled at Emmett and I actually made a vampire jump, to jolt his mind out of the gutter.

He jerked to look at me, "What the fuck was that about?" he glared at me.

"Nothing." I mumbled to myself, well it worked because all I could feel now was confusion.

"Okay, now who's the weirdo." Emmett replied.

I couldn't think of anything to do when Emmett shot up, in a flash and went up stairs and came back with a book in his hands. He sat down on the couch and opened it upside down to a random spot in the middle and appeared to begin to read.

"Why are yo-" he cut me off.

"Shhhhh I'm trying to read here."

"But the book is upside down." I said, he was such a dumb ass.

"Yeah so, I'm at the good part, Snape is about to kill Dumbledore in front of Harry cause Draco Malfoy wouldn't do it."

"Huh? What?" I was confused.

"I'm reading Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince dumb dumb, it's getting good, now shut up!" he snapped.

I growled but turned my attention to the TV.

Then I heard "Oh God Eddie!!" both me and Emmett's heads flash to look at each other.

"I have an uh-mazing plan." Emmett said throwing his book on the coffee table.

"What." I asked

"I can't stand this any more, they are getting on my last nerve. Why do they have to be so loud? Follow me Jazzy." he said as he walked into the kitchen we rarely used.

When I walked in Emmett was filling a large bucket with ice cold water. "I think it's getting a little too hot in there." He said with a devilish grin on his face.

I got his plan right away. "I agree with you there, Em." I said with a wicked smile coming across my face.

Just then my cell phone rang, I looked to see 'Alice's' phone number on the screen.

"What is the wifey calling to check on her wittle baby?" Emmett teased.

"Shut up." I growled.

I answered the phone. "Hi baby."

"I just want to say one thing." she replied giggling.

"Yeah."

"You just better run fast and far because Edward's going to be pissed. And I want an intact husband when I get home." She continued to giggle.

I smiled. "Thanks, you are a life saver honey."

"I know, love you babe." she replied then the phone went dead.

"What did she want a booty call?" Emmett laughed.

"No that's later. She just told us to run for our lives." I said grinning.

"Did I ever tell you Alice is the best?" Emmett asked.

"I know." I said simply.

He was finished filling up the bucket so we snuck our way up the third floor.

"Jazz you're up to bat." Emmett whispered.

As we approached the bedroom door I pulled from Eddie and Bella to make them even more horny, they would never notice us they would be way too busy.

"Okay, let's do this." I whispered back.

We opened the door and slowly crept our way to the bed.

"Ewwww." Emmett said shaking his head back and forth. "This is going to give me nightmares."

I laughed. "Shhh" then I looked up, all we could hear was 'fasters' and 'harders' and lot's of moans. This was going to give ME nightmares.

We crouched beside the bed, "Okay on the count of three." I whispered and put one finger up then another and then the third. "NOW!" I yelled.

Emmett shot up and poured the entire bucket of water on Edward and Bella.

"EMMETT!!!" Edward growled loudly.

"That's freaking cold." Bella yelled.

"DUDE RUN!!" Emmett and I screamed at the same time.

As we ran out of the house and towards the tree's all we could hear was Edward yelling out the window. "JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU COME BACK!!!! YOU ARE REALLY GOING TO GET IT!!!"

Me and Emmett laughed all the way out of the state, just to make sure we were far enough away.


End file.
